Swears, paunches and chocolate digestives


In case you’re new here, or you just missed it, I’m a Dad. Twice.
I thought I was ready for it, but fatherhood and everything that comes with it slapped me round the face and showed me just how naive I was.
After a month I felt like a shadow of my former self. For the uninitiated let me run you through the headlines:
  • No sleep. In the first month we were lucky to get a solid 60 minutes per night
  • Eating crappy food. Whatever I could eat with one hand. Healthy eating went out the window – this was full on survival mode, I’m talking complete filth – it is incredible how many chocolate digestives you need to eat to get you through a day
  • Guilt about leaving Sal (my wife) on her own to go to work every day
  • Self-doubt about whether I was messing the whole thing up and letting my family down
  • Bickering – there is no way to suggest anything to your partner at 3am that doesn’t meet with swears.
  • Lots of swears
  • So many swears
  • Visitors. All the visitors. It’s Sunday, I don’t want to have to get dressed. I haven’t seen the inside of my eyelids for 48 hours and you haven’t brought food? Get out. I can’t eat flowers – though I’m not ruling it out at this stage – and we’ve run out of vases.
So after a month, I’d piled on over a stone in weight, hadn’t done any exercise (besides my nightly buggy walks around Greenwich, super diligent with those) and finally succumbed to a really nasty cold and flu.
I was knocked out
I had zero motivation to exercise
My energy levels were through the floor
The paunch was visible and had to be hidden under loose clothes
I was grouchy as hell and taking it out on my lovely new family – the last thing I wanted
Until one day things came to a head. I threw a hissy fit and ended up falling out with the Mrs in spectacular style over the pettiest of things. I went for a walk to get some perspective and decided enough was enough. I was drifting through an incredibly special time in my life, a time I wouldn’t get back.
I realised I needed to stop trying to change things outside of my control, stop feeling sorry for myself and blaming other people, and get my life and health back on track.
And I did. A month later I was back to some semblance of my normal self, had dropped the extra weight, felt like myself again and I was nicer to be around than ever – my kids bring that out in me!
Looking back, this quote sums it up for me:
“Only when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change…will change actually happen”
Ever had a moment like that?
When you get sick of your own excuses?
When you make a decision to commit to change?
Maybe you’re at that stage right now. I’ve been there, I know how hopeless it can feel, the excuses we make and obstacles our brains create to avoid taking action, to make it seem complicated.
And sometimes, all you need is a little help. If that sounds familiar, get in touch…
Ian “Chocolate-Digestive” Male


Personal Trainer
tel: 07966844057
e: [email protected]
Greenwich Training

Personal Training & Group Fitness in Greenwich, Blackheath and South East London.

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